Trip to a Konkani Marriage

It’s been almost three years that I am in Karnataka now and like most of my friends, I too like travelling and exploring new places. Well, that’s just one of the thrills that keeps me going. But other than that, there was one more thing on my to-do list that I always wanted to get ticked off...  attending a South Indian marriage.

Just like most of my north Indian friends, I too had little idea about the south Indian culture. The only movie that managed to throw some light upon was “2 States”. I would honestly admit that I was really disappointed knowing that people can get married that early in the morning. It also took me a long time to digest the fact that the food served in these marriages was pure veg. This was quite in contrast with the marriages in many other states.

But all these were not a concern to me since I really wanted to experience such a marriage. So began my hunt for suitable south Indian friends who might be eligible to tie the knot sometime soon. Since most of my time was spent at office, I had to begin the search from there. Guys who were of my age or might be a little elder to me, were not yet ready for such a thing. Hence, my domain automatically got narrowed to only girls.

Our team comprised of three people. I thought, I should start my search from within my team itself. One fine morning, I remember asking my Konkani team mate Vipncv Kvd (took a random name for very obvious reasons) about her plans of getting married. She got quite surprised and asked me, why don’t I ask the other elder sisters who would ideally get married sooner. After she got to know my wish list and a long debate, we both came to the obvious conclusion that I will have to wait till the right time. On a different note, I should mention, that till a long time, I used to find her surname to be a bit funny, until I got to know it is one of the famous surnames here in South. Nevertheless, I still find it funny.

Cut to one a half years later.. Vipncv suddenly declared that her family is arranging her marriage.  While I was a bit surprised that it was a little early for her, I also got happy that finally my long wish will come true. Now, I am a foodie and the first thought that comes to a foodie’s mind is “The Menu”. By this time, I had got adjusted to (and kind of liked) few southie food items like Dosa, Idli, Vada, etc. But, that also made me realize that there is a long list of items which I do not like at all. Hence, I wanted to know the food items that might be available. By this time, Vipncv was like my college buddy rather than my colleague and so quite shamelessly I enquired about it. Quite expectedly, I was greeted with an apt question, “Are you coming to attend the marriage or just eat?”. I spontaneously replied, “Both”. Anyways, I was assured that the even though the food would be veg, their menu would be such that I would definitely like it.

Now, I am not sure if this is common in Karnataka or only in the Konkani culture, they do have a pre-wedding celebration called “Phool – Muddi”. It’s more like an engagement ceremony. This happens during the night before the marriage. Luckily, we were invited for this too. So me and my colleagues packed our bags and left for Mangalore (Vipncv’s native place). Mangalore -  the place famous for its sea foods, beaches and it’s extremely hot & humid climate. Luckily, I had some of that weather experience in my hometown and hence, somehow managed to survive. But, it really made me ponder, how do people get married there at that time of the year. The route to Mangalore is one that cannot go unmentioned. Even though we travelled during the night, the roads didn’t fail to make us understand it’s signatory characteristics. It had such swift turns and that too so many in number, that you need to sleep flat in the bus. If you take a right or left turn during your sleep, you will end up in your original flat posture – courtesy to the roads. One of our colleagues dropped the idea of attending the marriage due to her earlier experience with these roads. I used to wonder what kind of an excuse was that until now. Anyways, while returning we didn’t face this may be because some other route was taken. Hence, it will not be right to generalize this fact.

After getting refreshed, with a lot of energy (rather enthusiasm) we started planning for the day. In a few minutes, we had a long list of places to visit starting with Tannir Bhavi Beach. We had to take a ferry to the actual beach. The beach was quite deserted that day (thankfully), so we decided to spend some time there before heading for our next destination. It was my idea to step into the water a little just to get the beach effect, for which I don’t think any of my colleagues regretted. But as you know, everything comes at a price. We ended up walking by the sea line with our pants lifted to our knees and in a snap, time flew by before we realized we spent some 1.5 hrs there just by walking in the water and getting ourselves dead tired. At that particular point of time, I felt I should head back straight to my hotel if I had any wish to attend the evening function at all. Anyways after taking some rest, we decided to visit at least one more place – St. Aloysius Church.

The compound was very scenic and they had everything including a school, museum, swimming pool, etc. The church itself was pretty old, beautiful and well maintained. The person who walked us though the history of the church was a very knowledgeable person. The walls were covered with paintings depicting various stories of Jesus. The floor, which looked like a series of stairs from any directions, conveys to us that God is above all and that we need to ascend the stairs to meet him. The overall experience was very good. It was time to cater to our hunger and Pallkhi Restaurant was the best place for that. It had a variety of menu, starting from traditional to continental. It even had seasonal coastal foods. In short, we were very satisfied.

By the time we reached the hotel after lunch, we were extremely tired and fell flat asleep. In the evening, the humidity was skyrocketing. When we reached the “Phool Muddi” venue, half of the rituals were done and I was not unhappy for that. They have very long rituals. Anyways, Vipncv was all dressed up in a beautiful lehenga. Her old school and college friends had some dance performances followed by the would-be-bride herself. Her would-be-husband Ziopid (random name used for obvious resons) narrated a poem in Konkani which I believe described why he fell in love with her. I really wanted to hoot and cheer, but had to refrain from such activities realizing I am no more in college and that we are among Vipncv’s relatives. However, Vipncv didn’t miss a single scope of blushing. Finally, there was the much awaited couple dance. Now, Vipncv is an experienced and good dancer where as Ziopid had learnt the steps recently and might not have had much time to rehearse them. Anyways, it was a good one and somehow, both pulled off the show quite well. Readers should be informed that this dance program is not a part of the traditional Konkani marriages. This was just an exception and a brainchild of my friend Vipncv. At the end, we were served with snacks and dinner. The food was really good. It had **dosa**, chilly pakoda, chola curry, paneer, potato fries and many other items whose name I didn’t even know.

The next morning was the D-Day. I knew it would start quite early in the morning at about 4-5 am and we could definitely not be a part of it. So we took ample rest and reached the venue at around 8 am. I was shocked to see we were the only guests to be there at that time. I remembered Vipncv telling me that usually the guest come at around the time of Muhurat (the time of the marriage), watch the main part of the marriage, shower their blessings and head for the lunch. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the luxury for that as we had already checked out. We could see that the Ziopid was getting his photoshoot done while the bride was engaged in some pujas in the hall. It was a big hall and we got ourselves a good place to sit from where we could see the marriage clearly. I think it’s time I should mention the biggest thing that I disliked about the marriage – the number of time the bride was asked to change her saree. As it is, they have n number of pujas and for every puja, a new saree is needed. I felt bad for Vipncv, but it didn’t look like she had a problem with it. She was so happy that these were no barriers at all.

During the time of breakfast, we found the first batch to be full and thought of utilizing the time by clicking a few pics with the bride. She was also on a break, waiting for her juice to be brought. After our own mini photoshoot, we went for the breakfast. We had Idli, Vada and Kesari Bhat, along with coffee/tea. As we were approaching the noon, the heat was also increasing. But luckily, we had ACs in the hall for our rescue. It was time again for the second breakfast which had Karabhat, Halwa, etc. All these items were pretty delicious and I liked them very much.

Finally, at the time of Muhurat, the bride was lifted and taken to the groom. By this time, both the bride’s priest and groom’s priest had finished other formalities. And, in a short time, I saw Vipncv become Mrs. Vipncv. All the guests ushered onto the stage to convey their best wishes to the new couple. I suddenly realized that Vipncv fulfilled two of my wishes... one of attending this marriage and the second was by changing the surname due to her marriage.

After finishing our lunch, we bid a good bye to the couple and left from the venue. We had heard that Pabbas’ is one of the best ice-cream parlors in Mangalore and thought we should definitely check it out. Luckily, even though it being a weekend, we managed to get a table for ourselves. I mean, what is the best way of beating the heat, other than getting lost in the delicacy of an ice-cream? The ‘Kesar Pista’ and ‘Gadbad’ was awesome! It was time to call it a day off. We boarded the bus and left Mangalore with a heart full of satisfaction and a mind full of memories.

Smartphone: The unbelievable makeover

Remember those days, when we had those machines installed at our homes for talking to people over a distance? They used to called it telephone or to be correct, landline telephone. This was the situation in the last two decades. Having a phone those days was a luxury. Only one house out of an entire locality had the luxury of having a phone. But it's service was used even by the neighborhood. For the owning family it was both a matter of pride and a matter of nuance, as they had to cater to everyone's need of using their phone. At first, the telephone exchange people used to come to setup the initial line. Then after a few days suddenly they would call to say your phone line is now activated along with mentioning your new number. Slowly the number of families having landlines increased until almost each and every house had one if not two.

But soon we realized that just having the ability to talk to people only when we are at home is not sufficient. This led to the birth of mobile phones. Well, 'birth' might not be a correct term to use as it was discovered quite long back, but it was way out of the budget for a middle class person. These small but heavy as a brick gadgets were a time saving gift. Some models, like Nokia 3310, were so tough that you could easily hurt someone by throwing it at them. Man is always known for his everlasting hunger. He needed more from a phone and very soon, the camera companies felt a toll in their income shares as the mobile phones themselves started boosting an inbuilt camera. Having such a phone hinted at the affluence of that person.

In a slow but gradual process the evolution of mobiles kept on happening. Then came the age of smartphones. You can find the actual definition of a smartphone here. In short, it was a mini computer. The basic models were capable of taking notes, doing complex calculations, internet facility and a lot more. The camera also kept on improving, not only by quality but also by quantity. Now there is a front view camera for helping in video conferencing. This also led to the concept of selfie. Today, we can watch movies, play high resolution games, have a huge memory with high speed processors, do video calls, mobile banking, be active on social networks, order foods & cabs and lots more... The list is never ending. You could not make it to some place, just do a video call to your friends there. Did you miss some class notes? Click HD pics from your friends notes. Did you get to know some frequently asked question in the interview which your friend just attended and you are clueless about it? Just google it. Had to leave a film half watched for an urgent meeting? Continue it in your smartphone on the way. Want to prepare some delicious dishes for your guests? Various sites are at help with mind blowing recipes. Did the food not turn up to be as good as expected and guests will arrive any moment? Order food from Zomato, Swiggy etc. Can't find the AC remote? Use your smartphone dude. Life is that simple and easy.

So what price did we pay for all these comforts? No, I didn't mean the material cost. No matter however large the amount is, it is totally worth it. Instead I have a few questions. You might be having thousands of social networking friends, but how many real world friends do you have who will stand by your side during your hard times? You have persuaded your parents to buy a smartphone for themselves and have well tutored them to use the apps. But how many times did you call them today? Or did you text them? I am quite sure you are good at writing mails/posts/blogs, but can you put up the same opinion in front of a group of people front to front? You must be a champion at mobile racing games, but when was the last time you were actually on the wheels with your friends on a trip? Your company must be extremely employee friendly, but are you met with frowns quite often when you are found involved in your phone? You must be an expert in making out handwriting from the pics of your friend's notes, but do you remember when did you try to take a look at the distant tree across the field right in front of your home?

The day you have positive answer to most of the above questions, consider smartphones as a boon in your life.

Every bachelor's plight - Flat or PG?

Though the title reads "bachelor", do not assume its a problem only for the boys. Girls equally, if not more go through the same dilemma. Gone are those days, when you can be assured that you will get a job in the same city you live in. Getting a job in the same state is considered to be a blessing nowadays. After all, you can't spent years waiting for an opportunity close to your home. Today, we all want to be independent, don't we? Why to bother our parents every now and then for financial help and give up the option of living life on our own terms? As a result, we all end up in a new city with our luggage and a big question- Where to stay?

If your company is good enough, you might get free accommodation for some days. Within this time, you are expected to find a new nest to settle in. But out of thousands of branches, which one to choose? During this period, you will probably have to leave a bit early from your office for this mission. If you have a group of equally minded people and the same mission, you can try searching for a flat. A flat has its own advantages. A fully secluded premise to stay in. You can come in and go out whenever it suits you. As you are among your so called friends, you have less clashes. You sleep late a day and find the others are yet to get up. Is cooking a problem? No worries, keep a cook who can prepare your favorite dishes. Though a flat setup may seem to be costly, but most of the cost gets divided among all the flat mates and it becomes quite reasonable. But it has a few drawbacks too.

Firstly, the huge security deposit which needs to be given at the beginning will definitely pinch your pocket. It can hover anywhere around lakhs. If you want to invest lesser, you will have to compromise with the standard and area of the flat. Secondly, you might be denied even a visit to a flat if the owner or broker is not comfortable with the region you are from. A flat can be unfurnished, semi-furnished or fully furnished. You will have to decide if renting furnitures would be a good option instead because for every item you get along with the flat, the rent increases. There will be someone who will suddenly declare that they can live without a TV, wi-fi or sofas. It can so happen that you might be a neat freak and your friends might be used to staying in rooms uncleaned for months. If that happens, you are in a soup, as you will not get a single helping hand. Trust me, convincing everyone, be it for a trip, movie or cleaning rooms, is not at all an easy task. A flat itself comes with lot of responsibilities. You need to pay a lot of bills other than your usual rent like gas, electricity, wi-fi, etc. Dividing those amongst yourselves is a real tough job. Then there are societal problems. You will note a lot of frowns if you get an opposite gender friend to your flat. You might feel that you receive much less water compared to other flats and you will undoubtedly consider the reason that the society people is involved in the sabotage as they do not want bachelors among them. Late night parties (both alcoholic & non alcoholic) are a sin if you plan to play music for the entire duration. You are always expected to maintain a minimum decorum through out your stay. If a flat mate leaves the flat, it can be a real trouble finding a new one. The longer the delay, the more will be the financial pressure on the rest of you.

After going through this long paragraph, you might be thinking that PGs must be undoubtedly the better option. It does have it's own upper hands in few ways. You get a lot of choices for rooms to select from. Choose single room or sharing room (any number above 2) depending on your socially mixing capabilities and pocket. All costs are included in the rent, from wi-fi to dish TV. You do not need to worry about cooking after returning tired from office as you will get ready food at the table. No need to worry about cleaning rooms as you would get room service frequently depending on the hospitality of the owner. There is no headache of maintenance as you just need to inform the owner or the responsible person and that problem will get sorted. For people working in shifts, small rooms with less occupants like in PGs are good as the the scope of disturbing others reduces a lot. You get a chance to meet a lot of people (often from different regions) and increase your contacts. If you get bored, go to one of your new friend's room and have an adda. Watching IPLs and ISLs can be fun as both you and your room mate might be supporting different teams. The pleasure of taunting your room mate at his/her favorite team's bad performance is just unimaginable. Of course, be ready to taste your own medicine too.

I am quite sure by this time you are persuaded that PG is the better option. But wait a minute.. don't you want to know the problems of staying in a PG? Its very simple, just alter the above so called good points. After staying in a sharing room for sometime, you might realize that you cant't stay with your room mate for some reason and will have to shift to a single room. You might discover that the food made in PG has an influence of that region and it may happen that you do not like it. You might have to end up eating outside food  mostly. You will find that even though you choose not to have food from PG, you can't pay any less as costs are all inclusive in the rent, whether you avail the service or not. As room service will happen mostly in the morning when everyone is in office, you might find something is missing (will refrain from using the word 'stolen') unless kept secured under lock and key in your cupboards. You might find the cupboards very small compared to your belongings and half of them will end up remaining in the luggage bags due to lack of space. If once an appliance for eg. washing machine start facing issues, you never know by when it will be repaired as your owner has the right to ignore your requests till he finds the time suitable for himself. This period can be up to weeks. Making new friends can be a myth if you are not mixing type and actively indulge in avoiding people from different states/regions.
I got a chance of staying in both flat and PG and hence listed out the major advantages and disadvantages of both as observed by me. Few of the inputs are from friends who faced similar situations. I still can't decide which is better. But I feel, one should choose a flat only if they plan to stay for quite sometime (more than a year). On the other hand, the ones who intend for higher studies, should opt for PGs due to the advantage of isolation from distractions. But at the end, its all on you and your preferences. I am yet to figure out the answer to the above question. Have you figured it out? If yes, please share - Flat or PG?