It’s been almost three years that I am in Karnataka now and like most of my friends, I too like travelling and exploring new places. Well, that’s just one of the thrills that keeps me going. But other than that, there was one more thing on my to-do list that I always wanted to get ticked off... attending a South Indian marriage.
Just like most of my north Indian friends, I too had little idea about the south Indian culture. The only movie that managed to throw some light upon was “2 States”. I would honestly admit that I was really disappointed knowing that people can get married that early in the morning. It also took me a long time to digest the fact that the food served in these marriages was pure veg. This was quite in contrast with the marriages in many other states.
But all these were not a concern to me since I really wanted to experience such a marriage. So began my hunt for suitable south Indian friends who might be eligible to tie the knot sometime soon. Since most of my time was spent at office, I had to begin the search from there. Guys who were of my age or might be a little elder to me, were not yet ready for such a thing. Hence, my domain automatically got narrowed to only girls.
Our team comprised of three people. I thought, I should start my search from within my team itself. One fine morning, I remember asking my Konkani team mate Vipncv Kvd (took a random name for very obvious reasons) about her plans of getting married. She got quite surprised and asked me, why don’t I ask the other elder sisters who would ideally get married sooner. After she got to know my wish list and a long debate, we both came to the obvious conclusion that I will have to wait till the right time. On a different note, I should mention, that till a long time, I used to find her surname to be a bit funny, until I got to know it is one of the famous surnames here in South. Nevertheless, I still find it funny.
Cut to one a half years later.. Vipncv suddenly declared that her family is arranging her marriage. While I was a bit surprised that it was a little early for her, I also got happy that finally my long wish will come true. Now, I am a foodie and the first thought that comes to a foodie’s mind is “The Menu”. By this time, I had got adjusted to (and kind of liked) few southie food items like Dosa, Idli, Vada, etc. But, that also made me realize that there is a long list of items which I do not like at all. Hence, I wanted to know the food items that might be available. By this time, Vipncv was like my college buddy rather than my colleague and so quite shamelessly I enquired about it. Quite expectedly, I was greeted with an apt question, “Are you coming to attend the marriage or just eat?”. I spontaneously replied, “Both”. Anyways, I was assured that the even though the food would be veg, their menu would be such that I would definitely like it.
Now, I am not sure if this is common in Karnataka or only in the Konkani culture, they do have a pre-wedding celebration called “Phool – Muddi”. It’s more like an engagement ceremony. This happens during the night before the marriage. Luckily, we were invited for this too. So me and my colleagues packed our bags and left for Mangalore (Vipncv’s native place). Mangalore - the place famous for its sea foods, beaches and it’s extremely hot & humid climate. Luckily, I had some of that weather experience in my hometown and hence, somehow managed to survive. But, it really made me ponder, how do people get married there at that time of the year. The route to Mangalore is one that cannot go unmentioned. Even though we travelled during the night, the roads didn’t fail to make us understand it’s signatory characteristics. It had such swift turns and that too so many in number, that you need to sleep flat in the bus. If you take a right or left turn during your sleep, you will end up in your original flat posture – courtesy to the roads. One of our colleagues dropped the idea of attending the marriage due to her earlier experience with these roads. I used to wonder what kind of an excuse was that until now. Anyways, while returning we didn’t face this may be because some other route was taken. Hence, it will not be right to generalize this fact.
After getting refreshed, with a lot of energy (rather enthusiasm) we started planning for the day. In a few minutes, we had a long list of places to visit starting with Tannir Bhavi Beach. We had to take a ferry to the actual beach. The beach was quite deserted that day (thankfully), so we decided to spend some time there before heading for our next destination. It was my idea to step into the water a little just to get the beach effect, for which I don’t think any of my colleagues regretted. But as you know, everything comes at a price. We ended up walking by the sea line with our pants lifted to our knees and in a snap, time flew by before we realized we spent some 1.5 hrs there just by walking in the water and getting ourselves dead tired. At that particular point of time, I felt I should head back straight to my hotel if I had any wish to attend the evening function at all. Anyways after taking some rest, we decided to visit at least one more place – St. Aloysius Church.
The compound was very scenic and they had everything including a school, museum, swimming pool, etc. The church itself was pretty old, beautiful and well maintained. The person who walked us though the history of the church was a very knowledgeable person. The walls were covered with paintings depicting various stories of Jesus. The floor, which looked like a series of stairs from any directions, conveys to us that God is above all and that we need to ascend the stairs to meet him. The overall experience was very good. It was time to cater to our hunger and Pallkhi Restaurant was the best place for that. It had a variety of menu, starting from traditional to continental. It even had seasonal coastal foods. In short, we were very satisfied.
By the time we reached the hotel after lunch, we were extremely tired and fell flat asleep. In the evening, the humidity was skyrocketing. When we reached the “Phool Muddi” venue, half of the rituals were done and I was not unhappy for that. They have very long rituals. Anyways, Vipncv was all dressed up in a beautiful lehenga. Her old school and college friends had some dance performances followed by the would-be-bride herself. Her would-be-husband Ziopid (random name used for obvious resons) narrated a poem in Konkani which I believe described why he fell in love with her. I really wanted to hoot and cheer, but had to refrain from such activities realizing I am no more in college and that we are among Vipncv’s relatives. However, Vipncv didn’t miss a single scope of blushing. Finally, there was the much awaited couple dance. Now, Vipncv is an experienced and good dancer where as Ziopid had learnt the steps recently and might not have had much time to rehearse them. Anyways, it was a good one and somehow, both pulled off the show quite well. Readers should be informed that this dance program is not a part of the traditional Konkani marriages. This was just an exception and a brainchild of my friend Vipncv. At the end, we were served with snacks and dinner. The food was really good. It had **dosa**, chilly pakoda, chola curry, paneer, potato fries and many other items whose name I didn’t even know.
The next morning was the D-Day. I knew it would start quite early in the morning at about 4-5 am and we could definitely not be a part of it. So we took ample rest and reached the venue at around 8 am. I was shocked to see we were the only guests to be there at that time. I remembered Vipncv telling me that usually the guest come at around the time of Muhurat (the time of the marriage), watch the main part of the marriage, shower their blessings and head for the lunch. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the luxury for that as we had already checked out. We could see that the Ziopid was getting his photoshoot done while the bride was engaged in some pujas in the hall. It was a big hall and we got ourselves a good place to sit from where we could see the marriage clearly. I think it’s time I should mention the biggest thing that I disliked about the marriage – the number of time the bride was asked to change her saree. As it is, they have n number of pujas and for every puja, a new saree is needed. I felt bad for Vipncv, but it didn’t look like she had a problem with it. She was so happy that these were no barriers at all.
During the time of breakfast, we found the first batch to be full and thought of utilizing the time by clicking a few pics with the bride. She was also on a break, waiting for her juice to be brought. After our own mini photoshoot, we went for the breakfast. We had Idli, Vada and Kesari Bhat, along with coffee/tea. As we were approaching the noon, the heat was also increasing. But luckily, we had ACs in the hall for our rescue. It was time again for the second breakfast which had Karabhat, Halwa, etc. All these items were pretty delicious and I liked them very much.
Finally, at the time of Muhurat, the bride was lifted and taken to the groom. By this time, both the bride’s priest and groom’s priest had finished other formalities. And, in a short time, I saw Vipncv become Mrs. Vipncv. All the guests ushered onto the stage to convey their best wishes to the new couple. I suddenly realized that Vipncv fulfilled two of my wishes... one of attending this marriage and the second was by changing the surname due to her marriage.
After finishing our lunch, we bid a good bye to the couple and left from the venue. We had heard that Pabbas’ is one of the best ice-cream parlors in Mangalore and thought we should definitely check it out. Luckily, even though it being a weekend, we managed to get a table for ourselves. I mean, what is the best way of beating the heat, other than getting lost in the delicacy of an ice-cream? The ‘Kesar Pista’ and ‘Gadbad’ was awesome! It was time to call it a day off. We boarded the bus and left Mangalore with a heart full of satisfaction and a mind full of memories.
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